Lately I’ve been pretty stressed out. My stepdad passed away in December and ever since, things have been very difficult – my mom is not doing so well, my neighbourhood has been growing (which also means more noise and I’m terrible noise sensitive), I’ve suddenly turned into a 24h dog sitter and I’m trying to found my own business – I have a plan, but more on that later… Anyway, I’ve been eating shitty food for about half a year. I used to have a green smoothie a day and I’m a lifelong vegetarian – always attempting to eat as little dairy as possible. I always used to be super health conscious. But I’m also a foodie and I love eating (preferably yummy = unhealthy stuff). On top of everything, I used to have a stomach sensitivity problem – that I managed to get rid of with dieting and alternate health practicioners. Anyway it’s gone now and I can eat everything, but for a really long time (like 2 years) I could eat fewer and fewer things, starting with weath, until I was eventually living on rice and steamed carrots. But after being on a diet for such a long time, I really developed a hunger for all the things I couldn’t have, and so I’ve been eating shitty food for the past half year. Lots of coffee, cheese, sweet baked things, pasta. Not planning to skip the pasta (yum), but I really gotta lose some weight – like 2-3 kilos would be awesome (I know, I know; and yes, I’m still fairly slim, but I HAVE grown out of all of my pants – those 2-3 kilos come down to 1-2 clothing sizes. So it’s either buy new pants, or lose weight. Losing weight is cheaper.)
What would REALLY like to do is make a meal plan – also because I looove planning, especially when it involves food (foooood… *zombie hands*), but it’s kind of tricky because my life is kind of unpredictable right now. A lot of the time, things come up and I have to leave and then I end up eating at my mom’s place. Or I end up coming home ravenous and just stuffing myself with whatever is on hand quickly. The other thing is that my mom gives me a lot of leftovers (usually stuff like various veggies already past their prime) and since I hate nothing more than throwing away food (or spending on money on food I’ll end up throwing away because I can’t eat it before it spoils!), I usually end up trying to use up a PILE of groceries that are a) close to spoiling and b) usually not what I would have chosen to buy. So I end up having to change my plans and make a lot of food compromises all the time throughout the week. Because if I have a bunch of bell peppers and onion and corn that need to be used up, what I usually end up doing… is I make pizza. Because that is the only thing I can think of with those ingredients that I really want to eat. Maybe normally I would have made cabbage rolls or something, but if I don’t eat the bell peppers and so on they’ll spoil. So it needs to be something super yummy to tempt me away from what I really wanted that day.
That puts me into a bit of a tough spot… Not sure what do about it yet. 😦
I think it may just be a question of applying myself a bit more seriously. I gotta get back on the train. I think I’ll start by going back to my smoothies, which I always was toootally addicted to and I really don’t like the coffee that much anymore… Maybe I can freeze fruit to make it easier. Let’s try that one first. Then I’ll try the next step.
my1001projects 